This is a excerpt
from Nine Essential Laws for Becoming Influential by Dr. Tony Zeiss
P14 to P21
THE MOST IMPORTANT LAW FOR BECOMING INFLUENTIAL IS HAVING A POSITIVE
ATTITUDE
Yes,
the most important attribute for becoming influential is a positive
attitude. And guess who has absolute control over your attitude? You
are correct! You alone determine how you will face each day, react to
each circumstance, and behave toward others. People want to be associated
with positive, happy, "Can Do" people.
You can verify the truth of this success trait by answering these questions:
1. Do I enjoy being with positive or negative people?
2. Who most often advances, negative or positive people?
3. Do positive or negative people most often reach their goals?
The
answers are obvious. Optimistic, cheerful people are fun to be around
and usually do well in their endeavours to succeed in life.
Research
indicates that a positive attitude is nearly always at the very top
of the list of characteristics people desire in others. Individuals
who are happy are
most
likely to be identified as “rising stars”. It’s no
wonder, then, that the most successful people have positive attitudes.
I
can give scores of examples of people who lost altitude on their life
flight because of their poor attitudes. These people seem to relish
their chronic discontent, and yet they complain when life refuses to
promote them. Unfortunately, it is easy to get caught up with the whiners
and complainers. Misery likes company and these folks will befriend
anyone who joins in with and reinforces their negative beliefs. We become
what we think about. In a very short time we can become negative about
everything without realizing it.
By seeking the sympathy of others, our viewpoint is hardened into anger
or a perpetual pity party. Some experts believe negative thinking is
addictive. Fortunately, this destructive way of thinking can be broken
by simply changing one’s attitude. Changing peer groups around
you can also be very healthy.
By
determining to become happy, enthusiastic, and optimistic, we will soon
become happy, enthusiastic, and optimistic. By thinking and speaking
negatively we become negative. By thinking and speaking positively,
we become positive. The choice is entirely up to each of us to determine
what kind of person we wish to become, for ourselves and others.
Anxiety as an Ally
A major key to success is to develop and maintain a success-oriented
attitude from the very beginning. Overcoming self-doubt, anger, bitterness,
and other self defeating attitudes is often the greatest challenge.
As John Beth of Belk Department Stores often advises, “Whining
about your problems to others is a waste of time; half of them don’t
care and the other half are glad you’ve got them.” This
is an overstatement, of course,
but the point is well made. Each of us must resolve to be either a winner
or a whiner.
When
trying to keep yourself on track to reaching your goals, you have reason
to feel some anxiety. But you can leverage anxiety into a powerful ally
for success. You see, a little anxiety keeps you mentally alert and
drives you into action. Even if the worst happens and you get caught
in a tailspin, do not panic. The good news is that we’re in the
middle of an expanding economy, and with the proper attitude, the odds
of getting
ahead are very good. Remember, you are simply a work in progress and
so is everyone else!
“But
life’s been unfair to me,” you may be thinking. Welcome
to the club! Life is full of unfairness, unhappiness, and negativism.
We can clamour all we want about the unfairness of life’s circumstances,
but absolutely nothing will change the circumstances unless we resolve
to change them through conscious action. At this point in your life
you may not feel in control. But you’ll always have the option
to be in control of one thing your attitude. You see, it’s not
what happens to you that matters; it’s what happens in you that
matters. By controlling your attitude, in a certain sense, you control
your destiny.
Working
in an atmosphere of low morale is always difficult. Unfortunately, too
many people choose to believe their morale is determined by their supervisors
or by the actions of others. In truth, people should not allow their
morale to be determined by anyone except themselves. Mature, successful
people choose to be responsible for their morale, regardless of their
circumstances.
Facing the Day
Only one person can decide how you will face each day. The temptation
to seek safety, to avoid taking risks, to give up on dreams is forever
around you. But positive people know how to keep faith in themselves
and in their abilities. You can control your thoughts,
and your thoughts control your emotions and attitudes. If you don’t
like the facts, you can change your attitude about them. It takes some
practice, but millions of people do it every day. By looking at any
situation from a detached viewpoint, you can begin to see different,
even positive, dimensions of the situation. How many times have you
worried yourself sick over something that never materialized? Or more
likely, how many times
have you experienced something terribly negative in your life only to
see it as a positive growth experience in retrospect?
One
technique that often helps to reduce excess anxiety or worry is to ask
yourself the following questions when you are faced with a major problem:
Does
it threaten my soul?
Does it threaten my family?
Does it threaten my life?
How important will this be fifty or one hundred years from now?
This
exercise helps you get in control of your thoughts about any anxiety-producing
condition by developing the proper perspective. Once you can control
your thoughts, you can eliminate negative thinking and replace it with
a positive, success-oriented attitude.
You become a positive person simply by thinking positively!
Advice from the Pros
Successful
people are noted for their persistent optimism and infectious cheerfulness.
They are fun to be around because they are so encouraging.
In
preparation for this book, I surveyed some of America’s most prominent
people and some not so well known. These successful people represent
a variety of business types, sizes, and geographic locations and to
verify what it takes to become influential. For this chapter, I surveyed
two people, both of whom are extremely successful in their careers and
learned how to become invaluable in their own right.
Zig
Ziglar, a famous motivational speaker and writer, regularly participates
in national speaking tours with notables like President George Bush
and Barbara Bush, Colen Powell, Dr Robert Schuller and others He has
written several best seller books focused on helping people achieve
their dreams, and is chairman of the board of Ziglar Training Systems.
Zig
has this to say about the importance of a good attitude: “Having
a good attitude is extremely important for peak performance. With the
right attitude you will acquire the other skills necessary for success.”
Zig’s
advice to people who want to advance and become independent of circumstances
is: “Develop and use the qualities of integrity, dependability,
optimism, competence, enthusiasm, commitment, and hard work. Also, share
your knowledge and enthusiasm to help others grow. Those who move ahead
do so because they develop and teach others.”
John
Belk, Chairman of the Board for Beiks, Inc. which operates over 250
department stores throughout the Southeast, also had a successful political
career serving as the mayor of Charlotte, North Carolina. Business and
political leaders from across the country seek Mr. Belk’s expertise
and advice.
John
has this to say about the importance of a good attitude: “With
a can do, optimistic attitude you can accomplish almost anything. With
a [network of friends] who have this same positive attitude, [you] can
accomplish almost anything and overcome nearly every
adversity. Positive attitudes are essential for those who aspire to
become influential.”
Conclusion
People
with successful lives almost always have a clear goal in mind, they
have faith in themselves, and they jump into the self advancement process
with relish.
They make up their minds to view their goals as an adventure, and they
see themselves as a desirable product or service to be marketed. Most
of all, they have an unquenchable spirit of optimism and cheerfulness,
and they know that the impressions they make on others are important,
especially the first one. A constant review of the altitude of the attitude
is essential for success. This law of attitude will contribute to your
success and happiness more than any other law reviewed in this book.
Practical Advice
Remember,
others value people who have good, “Can Do” attitudes. Make
up your mind right now to concentrate on your blessings and your strengths,
not your troubles. Make a conscious decision to be cheerful and optimistic.
Demonstrate your positive attitude by
practicing it in every situation and in everything you do. Try to focus
all of your attention on the person or persons with whom you’re
talking. You especially need to be positive during all direct contacts
with anyone who can potentially help you keep or advance toward your
goals.
You
must learn to control your attitude by thinking positively in all situations
and at all times so that you, in fact, become positive. Your broad smile,
confident posture, firm handshake, and sincere greeting are essential
in making a good impression. I can tell you
unequivocally that my impressions, good or bad, are always determined
within the first minute or so of our meeting each other. Yes, sometimes
that initial impression changes over time, but first impressions die
hard, and most people never get a second chance to change that impression.
Frankly, if there is no excitement in the eye, cheerfulness in the heart,
and a genuine positive nature within a person they are in trouble. The
lesson?
Make that first impression a great one by having an uplifting, enthusiastic,
and consistently positive attitude!
Points to Ponder
+ Resolve to be happy.
+ Stay positive.
+ Success is attainable.
+ Keep the faith.
+ Make work an adventure.
+ Impressions are lasting.
Now
read dealing with fear.